Ever since the publication of Susan Cain's book Quiet: The Power of If you're an introvert who's been in a relationship a long time, you and your extrovert. Introvert-extrovert relationships can be wonderful and satisfying, but but planned downtime with a movie, a book, or a long walk is wonderful. I'm sorry, but one of my favorite phrases from my book, Introverts in Love, comes If a nascent relationship is not taking hold, you might need to take the hint and .
It reads like it is for about one specific relationship than for the general intended audience.
The Introvert-Extrovert Dilemma » Together
At the very least, it helps to know that someone out there has great success with this "opposite" relationship. Also "innie" and outie" sounds very very silly. Worth a try even though it didn't connect with me. It seemed as if she wanted an opportunity to complain mightily about her husband and used the thin veil of a book through which to do so.10 Things Introverts Need in a Relationship
Most of it was "common" sense which we all know ain't so common that anyone with a bit of background on the differences between introverts and extroverts would already know. If you're an introvert who feels wounded and angry towards extroverts, I think you'll find a great deal of valida I often found myself wondering if the author shouldn't get some therapy.
The Introvert and Extrovert in Love: Making It Work When Opposites Attract by Marti Olsen Laney
If you're an introvert who feels wounded and angry towards extroverts, I think you'll find a great deal of validation in this book. If you're an extrovert, you'll likely be annoyed by the delicate flower nature of the author. However, I don't know that you'll find much practical advice that you haven't already figured out on your own. Despite the sugarcoating, the book contains some good points and recommendations. Really hear what the other person needs.
If you work on these issues early in your relationship and tell the truth instead of blindsiding your partner with a deluge after a string of resentments, listening and hearing will be easier.
The acknowledgment of who your partner is and what they need will go a long way toward helping you come to a mutual solution. Go to the wedding together on Saturday, whether you really want to or not. This might mean finding your favorite introvert friend during the reception and sitting with him or her.
But the next day, say no to the Superbowl party.
Buy for others
The compromise comes in doing the extroverted activity one day, the introverted activity the next. A co-worker of mine and his wife do this often. The husband is much more outgoing than the wife, so she joins him in after-work gatherings about once every three times.
We may have even done it often enough that we realize how futile that is. In truth, one of the things you like best about your extrovert partner is that she is fun and easy-going. Trying to impose a new temperament on someone is like pressuring them to have blue eyes instead of brown.
Develop a list of go-to activities that are fun for both of you.