My relationship with Duane (Pete) Pettersen during the past several years has Social Relationship. Examples of Confederate Confirming-Disconfirming Response behavioral differences in supportive v. defensive interpersonal. Climates. Disconfirming responses can negatively affect a person's sense of self-worth. Text Material. · Impervious Response: No response—seemingly oblivious to what. What are the features of satisfying personal relationships? Confirming Communication=messages conveying value; Disconfirming Communication= messages.
Climate patterns occur, and once a communication climate is formed, it can take on a life of its own, which can be represented as a spiral. Creating positive climates can be achieved through the use of strategies that can increase the odds of expressing yourself in ways that lead to positive relational climates. Reducing defensiveness can occur by sending supportive rather than defense-provoking messages, as explained by Gibb's categories.
Description, rather than evaluation, is a way to offer your thoughts, feelings, and wants without judging the listener. When offering constructive criticism, there are certain attitudes and skills that are especially helpful. There are times when telling others what you think, feel, or want is primarily for your own good, not theirs. Choose a good time. Ideally, it is best to wait for a time or arrange one when both parties can calmly and rationally discuss the issue of concern.
Buffer negatives with positives using the sandwich method, which buffers criticism with praise and is effective because it helps the recipient perceive the comments as constructive and well-intentioned. Follow-up is important to acknowledge positive changes that resulted from constructive criticism.
To transform a negative climate, there are two alternating ways of reacting to negative communication. First, seek more information. Request more specific information from the sender. Guess about the specifics. When the critic is unable to provide specific details, guess at the specifics, asking the critic if your guesses are correct.
Paraphrase the speaker's ideas using reflective listening skills; this is especially good in helping others solve their problems. Ask what the critic wants. If the critic's demand is not obvious, you will need to do some investigating.
Ask about the consequences of your behavior to find out exactly what troublesome consequences your behavior has for the critic.
Ask what else is wrong; by asking about other complaints, actual problems can be uncovered. Agreeing with the critic is another strategy. There is virtually no situation in which you cannot honestly accept the other person's point of view and still maintain your position, as there are several different types of agreement.
Agree with the truth when the person's criticism is factually correct. Agree with the positive odds of expression, which brings hidden agendas into the open for resolution and also helps you become aware of some possibly previously unconsidered consequences of your actions.
The next few posts will focus on the communication climate — what it is and how we can improve it as well as dealing with that pesky, old trickster called conflict.
How is Your Communication Climate? | Saying What Matters
It may be helpful to step outside relationships and communication for a moment and think about the difference between climate and weather.
Weather deals with day to day variations, while climate refers to the average daily weather of a specific place over an extended period of time.
It takes a while for climate data to accumulate but rest assured, all the day-to-day weather incidents play their part.
A definition of what is meant by the communication climate. The emotional tone of the relationship in which communication takes place — positive and affirming or negative and disaffirming and all the stops on the road between those two ends of the spectrum. The climate settles into a specific pattern based on how people interpret the day-to-day weather of the relationship.
A positive emotional climate is vital to relationship success — you think? Talk about stating the obvious, Saying What Matters lady. We look for and stay in relationships in which the climate affirms and supports us — once again — dah!
The messages we receive during communication elicit different emotional responses and contribute to the daily weather of a relationship and ultimately the climate. Affirming messages make us feel valued. Disaffirming messages lead us to believe the other has a lack of regard for us and often leads to defensive responses. There will be recognition — the other person really sees us and acknowledges us.
There will be acceptance of our right to our ideas and feelings. The other person will demonstrate good listening skills when we speak.