Balance in a relationship means not only that you need to give wisely, This perceived give-and-take imbalance has many possible reasons. The Social Exchange Theory describes the relationship between two people as an The give and take approach plays a big role, but so does our perception of how Depending on how we define this, we create a level of comparison in our . The same is true for relationships where a balance of give and take is a sound The exact currency is difficult to define but could perhaps be approximated with.
All the other benefits do not add up to being a fraction of the value of feeling love.
Love is the ultimate succor, what we all seek and need. But you cannot feel the love you have if your mind wonders when you will get a payback.
If your mind is calculating a balance of give and take, even subconsciously, you will not feel the love you seek. When you recognize you married the desired person in order to cherish and please them, without expecting anything in return, then your marriage will succeed.
6 Ways to Bring Balance to Your Relationships | HuffPost Life
You pour out your love and efforts soul-ly pun intended for your spouse. Work in marriage consists of training your mind to reach this unusual practice. If you practiced this way of thinking out in the world, you would be smooshed, so you should not try this anywhere except at home. This approach to marriage is not commonly known and much less understood.
But those who have learned it from us have attained great success.
Give and Take
Acknowledge that balance doesn't mean being identical. We not only give in different ways, but we also give at different times. Going through my divorce, I monopolized more than 50 percent of many conversations with friends. And the roles have been reversed at various times.
Give-and-take | Definition of Give-and-take by Merriam-Webster
Additionally, I have one friend who impressively always invites and schedules time with my husband and me. I don't reciprocate evenly in that area, but I've provided her coaching, held her heart through pain and been a safe place to process life out loud with someone who cares.
Bask in the ways you receive. So you give a lot. Make sure you notice what you're receiving, too! She may not be great at remembering your birthdays, but does she love in other ways? Why were you drawn to her initially? Make sure you take time to look for all the ways she might be giving that you don't initially see.
Pull out a pad of paper and list everything you can think of that she does for you. This includes things like easily forgiving you, brainstorming your business with you, encouraging you to be an individual, standing up for you, making you laugh, remembering to ask about your mom, etc.
Be sure you're receiving what's being given! Continue to give your best. If you're good at scheduling time together, then do it.
If you're good at listening longer, asking better questions and validating feelings, then give and do it freely. If you're the one who remembers birthdays and buys presents for her kids, then do it with joy, harboring no resentment.
If you're able to pay for meals together, tell her that it's your privilege to give to the friendship in this way. Love on her in the ways that are easy and natural for you, knowing that is your contribution to the friendship you share.
6 Ways to Bring Balance to Your Relationships
Learn how to give and take more meaningfully. Just as unconditional love does not consider what is given, blind hate is not concerned with what is taken. Both can upset the bucket and confuse the social capital account, though each is likely to beget itself. Love very largely creates love and hate mostly creates hate. Love results in much reciprocal giving while hate leads to battles of blow-by-blow taking. The wider effect While give and take is important in individual relationships, its broader power is in the creation of society.
As relationships deepen and trust increases, we may take from one person and give to another. For example a person in a happy relationship will be kind to others, effectively sharing the social capital gained from their relationship partner. This is helped by the fact that emotional exchange is often unconscious. When I help you, I may not realize the value I provide and so do not expect much in return.
This gives you the scope to help others without emptying the bucket. The overspill thus created keeps society afloat in a sea of social capital. Social capital can be gained indirectly when others see you helping people and doing good things.
When they appreciate your actions in conforming with social norms, their approval effectively acts as putting a few social credits into your bucket.
Politicians know that they can make huge gains from widespread public approval, so they seek to champion popular causes and otherwise appear 'good'. Within this social system there will be net takers and givers: Givers may be unwilling, feeling as the downtrodden poor.
They may also be those who have a seemingly deep well and who pay themselves internally, feeling good just for helping rather than needing material repayment from others. It is this intrinsic system that gives society its net positive social capital and which allows us to live together in large groups. Laws often result from failures of people and society to maintain a balance of give and take.
They remind us to give and they take from takers with material and physical punishment. Laws protect the vulnerable from those who would take advantage. They also redistribute wealth from those who have taken more than others. To gain social capital remember that you need to gain gratitude or appreciation.
It may be a high integrity approach to always do the 'right thing', but if nobody knows then you gain only satisfaction. To create gratitude, satisfy needs and help people achieve their goals. This can be amplified by getting them to realize the depth of their needs and the urgency of their goals. When they are desperate, even a little help will be gratefully received.