A Son’s Vows to Love, Honor, and Obey Go Awry – PsychologyTomorrowMagazine
The troubling statement read, “The marriage relationship models the way God relates to His people. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Love, Honour and Obey is a mock gangster film starring several members of the Primrose Hill set. It was jointly written and directed by Dominic Anciano. Obeying and honoring a husband is part of any godly relationship. But both parties have to be holding up their end of the agreement for this to work traditional phrase "Do you promise to love, honor and obey your husband?.
It was during the Depression and he owned a record store. He was also a savant. He committed to memoryeleven 11 digit record catalog numbers without effort.
His store was often filled with celebrities who delighted in picking a random number from a thick RCA Victor record catalog and witnessing my father display his unusual talent. Our Father never knew what number was our age or our grade in school or our birthdate. He sometimes would burst into song in the midst of social gatherings which would embarrass my mother and cause a fight.
Father was incapable of intimacy, expressions of warmth, and was oblivious to human interactions. My father married my mother when he was forty.
His only encounters with women prior to their wedding night were with prostitutes. He had never been in a relationship, a fate my brother also repeated throughout his own life but for very different reasons. Our parents were quite a dissonant pair; Mom needing non-stop admiration, constant compliments, and total control of everyone and everything.
Dad shut out the world, playing music and reciting numbers all inside of his head, while she pursued him continuously asking him if he loved her. Her mother, my grandmother, a loveless and unlovable person herself, told mom to have an illegal abortion. They are a burden which will rob you of your life. She wished and prayed that the child would be a boy, that he would love her, and bring her glory.Love, Honor & Obey: The Last Mafia Marriage (1993) Nancy McKeon TV Movie
At seven years old my brother became interested in puppetry. He refused to play sports. He was only seven years old.
Honor & Obey: The Dividing Line for Adult Children
He spent six months at the school, just long enough to be sexually molested by an older boy. She pushed him into sports, curtailed his time with his puppets, his favorite toys. Go upstairs and come down when you are decent! Flunking out of high school and becoming a juvenile delinquent gave me boundless energy for rebellion. He tried to please her by becoming the main source of her narcissistic supply. They allowed my brother to fill the role of husband, companion, girlfriend, and cheerleader.
Mother bestowed privileges on my brother because he was a boy and because he met her emotional needs. He had his teeth straightened; ours remained crooked.
- A Son’s Vows to Love, Honor, and Obey Go Awry
He was given a religious education; my sister and I were told literacy in the synagogue was not for girls. He went to a private college. We went to state schools. At the time my sister and I did not object since her attention, when diverted to my brother, allowed us a momentary reprieve from her personality. He was expected to defend her in the many fights she had with my father, me, my sister, relatives, friends, and business associates.
My father was very homophobic. Mother also believed that if a man had shoulders narrower than his hips, it was a sure sign he was gay. Both my brother and father fit this description. She shared her theory with my brother when he was just a teenager, giving him the message that my father did not love her because he might only be able to love another man. How could my brother admit to himself that he was a homosexual when it might mean he could not fill her veracious need for love if he was one also?
When my brother was thirty-four, after my dad died, he began to cautiously face his sexuality.
Love, Honour and Obey - Wikipedia
Through therapy he was encouraged to come out. He chose to tell the love of his life, our mother. When he phoned her, before he could get out one syllable, she began screaming at him about some issue concerning money and hung up the phone.
This is when his demise began. His therapist, not having any group to place him in, decided to put him in a therapy group for male incest survivors, citing the extreme emotional incest my brother had endured at the hands of mother. I can only imagine what damaging effect that exposure to numerous stories from male victims, most often victimized by other men, did to his fledgling attempts to embrace his own sexual preference with pride.
It was as if he was growing her internally. He quit his job teaching elementary school and had no means of support. His downward spiral served his real agenda very well. He needed an excuse to reunite with mother and money was a good one. All her relationships were contentious, especially when the other person had a stronger commitment to anyone else.
A case in point: A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation.
Surely we are far more enlightened and broad-minded than our biblical counterpart. Wasn't it our recent generations who recognized that women have long been exploited and oppressed?
Honor & Obey: The Dividing Line for Adult Children - Christian Parenting
Weren't we the ones who liberated the female race with equal pay, equal rights, equal privileges and equal authority? Yes, we've come a long way, baby. But, since no man - or woman - is an island, we need to look at how this jockeying of the female role has impacted marriage, the family and society. A Look At Marriage Today The National Marriage Project is a non-partisan, nonsectarian, interdisciplinary initiative located at Rutgers University of New Jersey, funded by the university in cooperation with several private institutions.
The objective of this project is to provide research and analysis on the state of marriage in America and to educate the public on the social, economic and cultural conditions affecting marital success and wellbeing. Surprisingly, this project which studies marriage trends from to the present is the first of its kind and scope. No one else - including the federal government - has committed the time, energy or funding to track what is happening within marriage in America, despite the fact that marriage remains a fundamental social institution, central to the nurture and raising of children.
According to the information, Americans today still view marriage as an important life goal, and a lifelong, loving partnership as a cherished ideal. However, results of the National Marriage Project's survey show that what we as a nation would like to have and what we actually do have are not one and the same.
Key social indicators suggest: There is a substantial weakening of the institution of marriage; Americans today have become less likely to marry; Marriages today are less happy today than in past decades; Roughly half of all marriages are likely to end in divorce or permanent separation; Marriage has declined as the first living together experience for couples and as a status of parenthood; Unmarried cohabitation and unwed births have increased substantially; The percentage of children who grow up in fragile families has increased significantly; Marriage is losing much of its social importance, ritual significance and legal meaning and authority.
It's not a very bright picture, the state of our unions. As enlightened, broad-minded and advanced a society as we are it is evident that we are not doing a very good job at keeping marriage and family life intact. We are falling short not only of our own ideals, but of God's plan for us. Since these trends are not showing signs of turning around through our own doing, maybe it is time to revisit God's teaching with a bit more humility.
Man is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. Peter and Paul were not creating radical new teaching in these passages. They were simply reiterating what was always understood as God's plan for marriage and family. Page through the books of the Old Testament, and you will find plenty of examples of what happens when men and women upset the natural order and disobey God's command.
It leads to nothing short of disaster. Consider Adam and Eve, probably the best known story of disobedience in scripture. God commanded Adam to guard the garden and his wife. Adam was to follow God, and Eve to follow Adam. Instead, Eve disobeyed her husband and followed her own wants.
Adam did not stand up to his wife, but followed her instead, reversing the order of submission. Sarah was promised a son by God. She got impatient, and had Abraham take Hagar, her maid. That union produced Ishmael, eventually leading to estrangement, heartache, and centuries of conflict between Arab and Jew. Rebecca ignored God's promise that her elder twin son would serve the younger. She instead conspired against her aging, blind husband, Isaac, by disguising Jacob, her favorite son.
Jacob unworthily received his father's blessing, cheating Esau out of his Hebrew birthright and changing the course of Jewish history. King Solomon's wives turned his heart away from God, convincing Solomon to build a temple for their idols and, as a result, divided the kingdom. Samson's wife betrayed him by revealing the secret source of his strength to his enemies.
It cost him his life.
The list goes on and on.