10 Stages Of A Relationship
History Mark.l Knapp (born on July 12th, ) is a renowned teaching He developed a theoretical model for relational enhancement which routes the. Knapp's Staircase Model Coming Together Initiating Uncertainty reduction through info exchange; reciprocity still immediate Increase ______ of involvement Intensifying Shared conception of relationship; Begin to reference Stages of Relational Development . Interpersonal Therapy Slides adopted from Dr. Lisa Merlo. Aug 10, Professor Mark Knapp studied this pattern and outlined ten stages that. DeVito's Six-Stage Model of Relationship Development . counselor with an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy, and a certification in Natural Health.
Knapp's Relational Development Model
These tests most often manifest themselves through: Endurance, in which a partner is placed in an unpleasant, inconvenient, or uncomfortable situation or respond to certain requests to determine his or her commitment to the relationship.
Public presentation during which a partner is introduced under a particular label such as "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" to see if they are comfortable with being identified in this manner.
Separation, which tests whether communication and feelings of affection will continue despite an inability to physically be together. Third-party questioning, where one partner may attempt to find out the hidden feelings of the interested party indirectly by asking a friend to probe the person of interest for indication as to their depth of feeling and affection. Triangle tests, in which one partner sees if they can elicit jealousy from the other partner when another person expresses interest in the person concocting the test.
While all five of these methods are common methods of testing intensification efforts, it's important to note that endurance, separation, and triangle tests are generally the least constructive, and can even be destructive when it comes to building the relationship.Knapp's Model Of Relational Development
In addition to bonding, the integration stage makes up maintenance stage of a relationship. During this stage, the couple is fused and elements of their respective social identities, such as friends, belongings, and living spaces, are now shared. Other verbal and nonverbal manifestations of the integration include the couple seeing their relationship as special or unique in some way, the exchange of "trophies" for the other to wear or display, and potentially similarities in manner, dress, and verbal behavior can be seen.
This stage puts the relationship on public display and suggests that the relationship is exclusive. This stage often involves marriage or another type of public contract, though marriage is not necessary to successfully bond. There is usually a turning point that happens in this stage that signals a change in the relationship, making the relationship intimate. Reaching this stage does not guarantee that the relationship will remain bonded, though many intimate relationships will remain in this stage until divorce, death, or another type of separation.
Differentiating[ edit ] Differentiating is a process of disengaging or uncoupling. During this stage, differences between the relationship partners are emphasized and what was thought to be similarities begins to disintegrate. Instead of working together, partners quickly begin to become more individualistic in their attitudes. Conflict is a common form of communication during this stage; oftentimes, it acts as a way to test how much the other can tolerate something that may threaten the relationship.
Knapp believes that differentiating can be the result of bonding too quickly; meaning, sufficient breadth and depth see: Social penetration theory was not established during the previous stages. A common solution to differentiating is for each partner to give the other some space, though extreme differentiating can lead to a damaged relationship. Communication is limited to safe topics.
This stage is marked by less total communication in terms of number of interactions, depth and breadth of topics discussed, and communication occurs in shorter durations. Expressions of love and commitment also decrease.
Communication in this stage sees partners saying very little because they "know" how the other person will respond. Individuals will engage in imagined interactions to predict a conversation with their partner. At this stage, there is still some hope that the relationship can be revived.
However, in many cases there are too many costs accumulating and, therefore, most do not stay at this stage for long. A key reason why individuals stay in this stage is to avoid the pain associated with terminating the relationship.
When actual avoidance cannot take place, however, partners will simply avoid each other while they're together, treating the other as if they didn't exist. Essentially, the individuals in the relationship become separate from one another physically, emotionally, and mentally. When there is communication, it is often marked by antagonism or unfriendliness "I just don't want to see or talk to you".
Different forms of distancing are also common at this stage: No longer are they both receiving a mutually satisfying outcome from being with one another. Neither one of them is happy and the relationship must come to an end. In this model, this step is unavoidable and relationships can terminate at any time.
Termination can occur due to physical separation, growing socially or psychologically apart, or the death of one of the partners. Communication in this stage is marked by distance an attempt to put psychological and physical barriers between partners and disassociation messages that prepare one or both parties for their life without the other.
Movement is generally systematic and sequential. If you are in the differentiating stage. It's very difficult to escape this stage, especially if you're a busy couple with children and career demands. Differing needs and pressures compel you to take out your stresses on one another and protect your turf. It's imperative for the health of your relationship that you take action to heal the rifts and address the triggers for conflict.
This is a great time to find a licensed relationship counselor to help you get back on track and save your relationship. Circumscribing Stage At this stage, you begin to pull apart even more.
You set protective boundaries for yourself, communication devolves and becomes less and less intimate. You may have your own lives, separate friends and activities, and separate spaces in your home.
Knapp’s Staircase Model - ppt video online download
Arguments push you further apart, and you may avoid arguments because they are so painful, even though the problem or issue stills exists between you. If you are in the circumscribing stage. This is a very painful and lonely time in a relationship. The couple has pulled so far apart they have lost their original intimate connection and respect for one another.
If you want to save your relationship, it is essential you work together with a counselor to heal the damage and define a new way of relating and reconnecting. You both will need to move past defensiveness, blaming, and resentments in order to build a stronger connection.
If one of you is unwilling, there isn't much hope for saving the relationship. Stagnation Stage When your relationship has stagnated, you've reached the point where separation is virtually complete.
Relational Development Relational Development Y
However, the relationship persists, for reasons of convenience or necessity. You may feel apathetic and disengaged, but at this point, you don't see a compelling reason to end the relationship. At this stage, couples may stay together because they have children, even though their relationship has tanked. If tension and conflict continue, it's hard to discern whether separation is best or worst for the children.
If you are in the stagnation stage. It's time to get counseling for yourself. You need help in navigating this very painful time and deciding the best course of action. You may have financial issues to figure out, as well as coping with the emotional pain of ending this bond. Even if the relationship has hit rock bottom, the two of you are still intertwined in many ways. Avoidance Stage Whether you're living under the same roof or one of you has moved out, now you are truly separated.
You spent little, if no time together, and when you are together, there is little eye contact or real communication.
You are taking the first steps toward a permanent end to the relationship. If you are in the avoidance stage.
The relationship has ended in all but the most formal ways. At this point, avoidance is a necessary coping mechanism and facilitates the end of the bond between you. You may find yourself confused and conflicted, and you may attempt to reconnect to avoid the pain of the separation. Again, having the support of a counselor, as wells as a support system of family and friends, can help you have clarity and strength during this time.
Termination Stage The relationship permanently ends through divorce or the two people moving to separate homes.