Deception and the Destruction of Your Relationship
Lying to someone, especially someone close to us, is one of the most basic violations of a person's human rights. Two adults can agree to whatever terms of a relationship they like, but the hidden If our partners trust us enough to admit that they find someone else attractive, we might just .. How low can a person go?. Sadly, a lot of guys aren't honest about their relationship status, and it often falls be because he's lying low due to another girl being suspicious of his behavior. This is often because there's someone else in the picture, such as a woman he . Low Sexual Desire · Relationships · Sex . But as fundamental as lying seems to be to human beings, trusting relationships are also a He had almost no insight into the fact that his lies and relationships with multiple If you tell a lie to avoid hurting someone else that ultimately is about hiding your own.
An example of this might be a woman whose boyfriend gets so jealous that he forbids her to be alone with other men.
Another example may be a man whose partner feels so insecure that she demands to be constantly reassured of his love and attraction to her. This type of restrictive situation can become a hotbed for dishonesty.I'm In a Relationship BUT...I'm Attracted to Someone Else!
The woman may lie about time alone she spent with a male friend or co-worker, or the man may lie about an attraction he is starting to feel for another woman. When we treat our partners with respect and honesty, we are true not only to them but to ourselves.
We can make decisions about our lives and our actions without compromising our integrity or acting on a sense of guilt or obligation. When we restrict our partners, we can compromise their sense of vitality, and we inadvertently set the stage for deception. The more open we are with each other, the cleaner and more resilient our relationships become.
Conversely, the more comfortable we become with keeping secrets, the more likely we become to tell bigger and bigger lies. When an affair occurs, denial is an act of deception that works to preserve the fantasy that everything is okay.
Are You Dating a "Loser"? - Women's and Gender Studies, The Pauline Jewett Institute
Admitting that something is not okay or that you are looking for something outside the relationship is information that your partner deserves to know. Emotions sprung from deception like suspicion and anger can tear a relationship apart, but more importantly they can truly hurt another person by shattering their sense of truth.
Relationships are contingent on honesty and openness. They are built and maintained through our faith that we can believe what we are being told. However painful it is for a betrayed spouse to discover a trail of sexual encounters or emotional attachments, the lying and deception are the most appalling violations.
An ideal relationship is built on trust, openness, mutual respect and personal freedom.
But real freedom comes with making a choice, not just about who we are with but how we will treat that person. Choosing to be honest with a partner every day is what keeps love real.
Once you are isolated and alone, without support, their control over you can increase. The cycle starts when they are intentionally hurtful and mean. You may be verbally abused, cursed, and threatened over something minor. Suddenly, the next day they become sweet, doing all those little things they did when you started dating. You hang on, hoping each mean-then-sweet cycle is the last one. They give you the impression that you had it anger, yelling, assault coming and deserved the anger, violence, pouting, or physical display of aggression.
Some call your relatives, your friends, their friends, and anyone else they can think of — telling those people to call you and tell you how much they love you. Creative losers often create so much social pressure that the victim agrees to go back to the bad relationship rather than continue under the social pressure. Their reaction is emotionally intense, a behavior they use to keep you an emotional prisoner.
If you go back to them, you actually fear a worse reaction if you threaten to leave again making you a prisoner and they later frequently recall the incident to you as further evidence of what a bad person you are.
Remember, if your prize dog jumps the fence and escapes, if you get him back you build a higher fence. If you have an individual activity, they demand that they accompany you, making you feel miserable during the entire activity.
The idea behind this is to prevent you from having fun or interests other than those which they totally control. If you speak to a member of the opposite sex, you receive twenty questions about how you know them. They will notice the type of mud on your car, question why you shop certain places, and question why you called a friend, why the friend called you, and so forth. They may begin to tell you what to wear, what to listen to in music, and how to behave in public.
Eventually, they tell you that you can not talk to certain friends or acquaintances, go certain places, or talk about certain issues in public.
How to tell if someone's lying to manipulate you
When in public, you quickly learn that any opinion you express may cause them to verbally attack you, either at the time or later. This is another method of destroying your self-esteem and confidence.
After months of this technique, they begin telling you how lucky you are to have them — somebody who tolerates someone so inadequate and worthless as you. Keep in mind, this same sense of entitlement will be used against you. If you disobey their desires or demands, or violate one of their rules, they feel they are entitled to punish you in any manner they see fit.
They will notice a change in your personality or your withdrawal. The mention of your family members or friends will spark an angry response from them — eventually placing you in the situation where you stop talking about those you care about, even your own family members.