Helping Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder - zolyblog.info
Why do some people create havoc in their relationships? I use - I noticed that patients with BPD could turn most of their symptoms off and on like a faucet - and . People in an abusive BPD relationship may be under not only stress but also you are indulging in substance abuse to "cope", do your best to taper off or Keep in contact with friends and family, and seek therapy if you are feeling isolated. Caring about someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) tosses It is common for them to cut off relatives or friends who “betray” them. . Darlene Lancer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and expert on relationships and.
The destructive and hurtful behaviors are a reaction to deep emotional pain. Recognizing the signs and symptoms of BPD Recognizing the signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder is not always easy. BPD is rarely diagnosed on its own, but often in conjunction with co-occurring disorders such as depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, an eating disorder, or substance abuse. Your family member or loved one with BPD may be extremely sensitive, so small things can often trigger intense reactions.
Once upset, borderline people are often unable to think straight or calm themselves in a healthy way. They may say hurtful things or act out in dangerous or inappropriate ways.
This emotional volatility can cause turmoil in their relationships and stress for family members, partners, and friends. Learning a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder can come as a source of both relief and hope.
Does your loved one have borderline personality disorder? Do you feel like you have to tiptoe around your loved one, watching every little thing you say or do for fear of setting them off? Do you often hide what you think or feel in order to avoid fights and hurt feelings? Does your loved one shift almost instantaneously between emotional extremes e. Are these rapid mood swings unpredictable and seemingly irrational?
Does your loved one tend to view you as all good or bad, with no middle ground? Is everything always your fault?
Does the person accuse you of doing and saying things you never did? Do you feel misunderstood whenever you try to explain or reassure your partner? Do you feel manipulated by fear, guilt, or outrageous behavior? Their emotions, behavior, and unstable relationships, including work history, reflect a fragile, shame-based self-image.
When Your Loved One Has Borderline Personality Disorder
This is often marked by sudden shifts, sometimes to the extent that they feel nonexistent. For them, trust is always an issue, often leading to distortions of reality and paranoia. They may try to bait you into anger, then falsely accuse you of rejecting them, make you doubt reality and your sanity, or even brainwash you as emotional manipulation.
It is not unusual for them to cut off friends and relatives who they feel have betrayed them. They react to their profound fears of abandonment with needy and clingy behavior or anger and fury that reflect their own skewed reality and self-image.
Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
In a close relationship, they must walk a tightrope to balance the fear of being alone or of being too close. To do so, they try to control with commands or manipulation, including flattery and seduction. Whereas narcissists enjoy being understood, too much understanding frightens the borderline.
Generally, borderlines are codependent, and find another codependent to merge with and to help them.
They seek someone to provide stability and balance their changeable emotions. A codependent or narcissist who acts self-sufficient and controls his or her feelings can provide a perfect match. The person with BPD may appear to be the underdog in the relationship, while his or her partner is the steady, needless and caretaking top dog.
- Helping Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
- How to Cope When a Partner or Spouse Has Borderline Personality Disorder
- Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
They each exercise control in different ways. The non-BPD may do it through caretaking. Passion and intense emotions are enlivening to the person without BPD, who finds being alone depressing or experiences healthy people as boring.
Codependents already have low self-esteem and poor boundaries, so they placate, accommodate, and apologize when attacked in order to maintain the emotional connection in the relationship.
Setting a boundary can sometimes snap them out of their delusional thinking. Calling their bluff also is helpful. Both strategies require that you build his or her self-esteem, learn to be assertive, and derive outside emotional support.
8 Best Tips for How to Cope With a Loved One’s Borderline Personality Disorder
Giving in to them and giving them control does not make them feel more safe, but the opposite. See also my blog on manipulation.
BPD affects women more than men and about two percent of the U. BPD usually is diagnosed in young adulthood when there has been a pattern of impulsivity and instability in relationships, self-image, and emotions. They may use alcohol, food, or drugs or other addiction to try to self-medicate their pain, but it only exacerbates it.
Like all personality disorders, BPD exists on a continuum, from mild to severe. To diagnose BPD, at least five of the following symptoms must be enduring and present in a variety of areas: Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Unstable and intense personal relationships, marked by alternating idealization and devaluation. Persistently unstable sense of self.