Recovering from a Relationship with a Sociopath
Because relationships are games to them, and because they view other people as objects and feel completely justified in exploiting them, sociopaths know that. It might take some effort to re-establish a safe relationship but it is essential for accountability and healing. Having a perspective outside of the relationship helps . Acknowledge what you have lived through. One of the first steps to recovering from a relationship with a sociopath is to fully acknowledge what you have been.
Stage Four — Isolation and emptiness The harsh reality of your life and the effects of the relationship, is now hitting you hard. Perhaps you have lost a job, lost friends, family, finances, even your home and other losses. It is hard to believe that the person that you loved with all of your heart has betrayed you. You feel empty, isolated and alone. What has happened is so crazy, it is difficult for you to explain to others. At this time you might also be in the midst of ruining and smear campaigns by the sociopath.
Right now you feel an empty shell of the person that you once were. You become obsessed with understanding why? You read all that you can. Understanding about psychological behaviour becomes your latest obsession. The more that you read, the more you learn, the easier you find things. Understanding how bad and messed up your ex is, in some way — helps you to feel better. For some reason understanding is healing.
Your focus in this stage is still on the sociopath, not on you. You are still hurt, and angry. You might feel a need for justice and to expose the sociopath. Stage Six — Acceptance, healing, recovery and focus back to you Acceptance is always the final stage of recovery. You might even be able to raise a smile, or at best a laugh. You have done well. You realise that your ex had a psychological disorder.
That was not your fault. What happened and the behaviour belongs to them — not you! In this final stage, you let go of the bad. You start to focus on the good. You accept that there is nothing that you could have done to change a thing. You realise that it was nothing to do with you,it was not your fault. You are not stupid.
In the final stage, you start to make plans for you. To rebuild your life. You are finding that the good times are outweighing the bad. You realise the damage that has been done to you. Perhaps you are struggling to trust others. You are looking at what you have learned, and perhaps things within yourself that you want to fix. You start to make plans for your future. Slowly you begin to allow others back into your life.
In the final stage, you are not focusing on what happened, or why? You are no longer trying to understand. Your focus is back to you. The final stage can feel slightly liberating. You have learned a lot and have grown. You realise that you want to not make the same mistakes in the future — or at least not date the same mistakes. You realise that you really do deserve better. For the first time, possibly in all of your life you are protecting you.
Looking after you, realising that you really do deserve better.
You might be reading this, recently coming out of the relationship and are still in the early stages. The pain might feel overwhelming. The sadness, the emptiness, and the humiliation might leave you feeling absolutely devastated. You wonder how you can go on — will you ever recover? The answer is — yes you will!!!
The stages of healing and recovery after dating a sociopath – What to expect – a quick guide!
Think of this as a game of chess. In order to be successful, defensive and offensive maneuvers must be well thought out. Sociopaths love to place a person on the defensive; it is a way to avoid responsibility. Rather the boundaries are for the victim. Know in advance the limits of tolerance for each area of abuse mentioned.
For instance, aggressive shoving, secret bank accounts, theft, adulterous relationships, or forced sexual contact may all be a boundary. Once this is crossed, it is time to move on. Have an exit plan. Sociopaths are very cunning and can smell fear. So the exit plan might have to be done in secret.
This should not be a momentary decision, rather a well-thought out scheme to escape. Stash money, passport, clothes, keys, and any other important documents aside before departure.
Carefully plan the time to leave and have a safe location to go to in advance.
Sociopath Relationships | Healing from Sociopath Abuse
Tell a close friend or relative. Sociopaths isolate their prey from family and friends to create a dependency on them. It might take some effort to re-establish a safe relationship but it is essential for accountability and healing. Having a perspective outside of the relationship helps to see things more clearly.
Move away if possible. Sociopaths tend to take the path of least resistance so the effort to follow a person and continue the abusive behavior requires too much work. In addition, the fresh start for the victim can be transforming as they have a chance to shed the trauma. Once the victim is safe, it is time to be more reflective about the experience.
Now having gone through this experience, the instincts have a chance to grow stronger with greater knowledge and understanding. New relationships need to be checked. Anxiety over future relationships is a common feeling after being with a sociopath.